On the Road Again

On the road again in multiple ways. Firstly I am in Grass Valley, CA with my mom and sister to visit my grandpa (aka Poppop). He’s not doing great. He is in the hospital and about to return to a convalescent home. It’s hard trying to stay positive for him while also trying to prepare for when he passes away.

On the bright side it is absolutely beautiful here. It was in the sixties all day with a warm breeze. You can actually smell the trees. I love it here. It’s amazing!

Anywhoozle… The second way I’m on the road again is because I’ve gotten a great start in my 26 Before 26. I’ve had no soda, I took a few pictures, and I took a walk. I’m on a roll. Wish me luck to keep it up!

Catching Up on Life

I haven’t  blogged in awhile.  A lot has been going on.  Let’s see, a quick run down of things…

June 30 – Backstreet Boys Concert – SO AWESOME! I’ll make a whole blog about it soon enough.

July 1 – I got to see Twilight Eclipse! I’ll probably do a blog about this later.

July 2  – Five year anniversary with Bobby.  We had a lovely time.  There was an excellent dinner at PF Changs.  They had a great deal for two that included soup, an appetizer, two entree, and cute little mini deserts served in shot  glasses, for only $49.  That is a great price for that amount of food at PF Changs.   We of course had the chicken lettuce wraps which were excellent.  When they brought our entrees (a delicious chicken dish & Mongolian beef) they also brought a Spicy Shrimp dish because someone had ordered it and changed their mind.  The waiter said they were just going to toss it out so he brought it to us.  I love shrimp and I have to say that it was one of the most impressive shrimp dishes I’ve had in a long time.  The shrimp was tender and fresh, not chewy at all.  There was fantastic flavor and the breading was perfect.  Desert was good.  The perfect serving and a little double shot glass.  They had I think 6 or 8 different kinds to choose from so I think we got a hell of a deal.

July 4 – Nothing exciting for Independence Day but I did go to Grass Valley, CA to stay with my grandpa.  My grandpa had been in the hospital the week before for exhaustion and dehydration.  He had had a blood transfusion and his chemo and was doing nothing but sleeping so when he finally got up he could barely walk so we had to get him to the hospital.  He was in for a few days and wasn’t released until Saturday the 3rd.  Originally the doctor told him he could not go home because he lived alone so he was going to have to go into a rehab center.  Thankfully we were able to arrange it so that I could stay with him for a week, which is what I did.  It was a long week.  Not even a full week actually.  Sunday to Thursday.  I did a lot of cleaning for him and cooking.  The first few days he spent a lot of time in bed and I was very worried.  But on Tuesday he had a chemo treatment and I thought for sure he would be knocked out but instead, he was doing much better!  I think it also has something to do with the fact that he finally turned the damn AC on in his house.  Only setting the AC to click on at 80 was a huge help for both of us.  I got a lot more done around the house for him and he just looked so much better.  We had a nice time.  We talked a lot. Every night at 7pm he watches NCIS if he can so a few night we watched it together and it was really great.  He actually laughed at the funny parts, it was good to see him smile.

So anyway, I left Thursday morning when my mom arrived.  She quit the horrible job she had to go stay with him for a few weeks before a new (and better) job begins in August.  It works out really well.  I’ll be going back this Thursday to stay until Saturday because my mom has to come back to Reno to get the finally arrangements out of the way for the new job.  In August my grandpa has decided to go spend a week or two in a rehabilitation facility which will be really good for him I think.

July 9 – I went and saw Despicable Me with Brandy, Chey, and Sarah.  It was super cute and I’ll for sure do a whole blog about my opinions on it another time.

July 10 – Bobby really wanted to go to the Daniel Tosh show at the Silver Legacy and we were having a lot of trouble getting tickets but finally Bobby was able to get them so we got to go to the show!  Before the show we went up and had lunch at Red Robin with my sister, then we went and was Despicable Me because I really thought Bobby would enjoy it, and he did.  The movie finished just in time for us to make it to the Daniel Tosh show early and get our seats.  The place was packed!   The opening act was a super funny guy named Jasper Redd and then Daniel Tosh was on for about an hour.  It was a full day of fun and smiles for us!

Since Saturday nothing exciting has really happened.  Bobby and I have been spending a lot of time together.  We had a big fight right before our anniversary but we worked it out and I think things are going to be great.  I feel like we’ve been more honest, open, and happier with each other lately.  I love him so much and I am so thankful to have him in my life.  He’s been so great to be over the years and especially lately with me being an emotional wreck about my grandpa.

As far as my 25 before 25 goes…

Well it really hasn’t gone anywhere.  Everything kind of got put on hold when I left for my grandpas.  I’ve managed to accomplish the week without TV.  That was pretty tough.  I’m working on two new books.  The cleaning part has not happened much, I’m working on it.  Other than that, I haven’t done anything on my list.  I need to get going!  I have barely over a month to do it!!  I’m hoping this blog starts me back on the blog wagon again!

Memorial Day Weekend

Saturday 5/29/2010 – Woke up at 6am and Mom, Sister, and I went to Grass Valley,CA to visit my Poppop.  We were able to help him get his kitchen cleaned up and some dusting done.  My grandpa is a bargain shopper.  Any time anything is on sale, he buys it.  The closet of the guest room is filled with toilet paper and paper towels.  Every cabinet in his kitchen is over flowing!  He’s always prepared!  I decided that I’m going to try and start buying up stuff when it’s on sale.  Since we have such a huge garage we have plenty of space for it.  Also, Poppop has a big freezer in garage that he isn’t using so Mom and I were thinking that we’d get it up here and start buying meat in bulk when its on sale and we’ll share the freezer. 
While going through closets I found a ton of board games and he gave them to me.  I got Pictionary, Boggle, Trivial Pursuit, Agrivation, and all kinds of other stuff.
Saturday night we went to Auburn and had dinner at Sizzler with my Great Uncle Lenny and Great Aunt Mary.  It was nice, we sat and ate and talked for a few hours.  I miss seeing everyone on a regular basis.
Saturday night was also the first time I’ve ever had a real conversation with Poppop regarding his brain tumor.  Before I was born he had a brain tumor removed and it cause the left side of his body to be a bit off.  He has an eye that doesn’t open much, his mouth is droopy, and he can’t hear out of his left ear.  I’ve never really asked about it but it was interesting for him to explain it to me.  We also talked about his cancer.  I asked if he was in a lot of pain and he said not really.  Most of his pain is caused but other things. 
We stayed the night till Sunday morning.

Sunday 5/30/2010 – So making a random comment on my friend Anne’s Facebook saying “You’re in town!  We should hang!” or something like that apparently means “Hey, you’re in town!  Let’s have a party at my house and not tell me!”  LOL Anne lives and works in Washington DC and she was in town this weekend.  We ended up having a last minute get together at my house.  It was a lot of fun.  We played Buzz, Pictionary, and Kings Cup.  Drunkeness ensued. 

Monday 5/31/2010 – I went up to my Mom’s house to have a BBQ.  I made some “Devilish Eggs” from a Hungry Girl recipe.  YUCK! Instead of using the egg yolks you make a cauliflower mixture which sounded okay at the time but boy oh boy was I wrong.  Thankfully I had reserved the yolks and was able to make them into real devilled eggs.
Mom made bacon wrapped steaks.  YUM.  Good and unhealthy!  Sis made her famous Cabbage and Potato pie.  So good, I’ll have to get the recipe to post. 
While dinner was cooking we watch marathons of “Hoarders” and “Pawn Stars”.  Now I am addicted to both those shows.
Lastly, Mom made the most amazing home made strawberry shortcake with homemade whip cream and biscuit shortcake.  WOW! I think it’s my new favorite desert!

Life is Good

Another day off!  I know, I know, I’m a slacker.  Anyway…

I am in a great mood.  I am trying to be more and more positive lately and it really is working for a change.  Today was an uneventful day off but I feel good about it.  I woke up at 6:45 and went to WW and weighed in.  I only lost 0.4lb but again, a loss is a loss so I’m cool with it.  This week is going to be better than ever!  I’m hyped!

My Mom and sister came over for dinner.  I made “h-o-t hot boneless buffalo wing” sand “fiber-ific fried cheese sticks” from a Hungry Girl recipe from the “200 Recipes Under 200 Calories” cookbook I bought a few weeks ago.  They turned out really good and Mom stopped at our new favorite Chinese restaurant Jazmine and got their pot stickers and egg rolls.  We had a finger food dinner and it was excellent!  They have the best pot stickers at Jazmine!

After dinner we were going to watch “Dear John” but I am really hyper and I don’t feel like sitting around watching a movie.  I organized my Grandma Dee’s ceramic pig collection on my dining room shelf and dusted a bit.  I feel good about having something of hers out.  We were never very close but I do miss her.  I wish I had had the chance to get to know her better.  Thankfully I was very close to my Mom’s Mom, my Grandma Joan.  Tomorrow I am going to see my Poppop (mom’s Dad).  I think I’m going to ask him if he has anything of Grandma’s that I can have to display in my house. I have a few things that were hers but mostly just some necklaces that you can’t really display.

Back to the negativity topic..I think being less negative is really helping in a lot of aspects of my life.  Sure, I’m still negative about some things sometimes but I am trying.  Bobby and I are doing pretty good I think.  We did get into an argument the other night but that was my fault for not being more communicative.  Besides that I think we are doing really good.  I love him a lot and I am glad to be with him.  Since I’ve missed a lot of work lately (I know, I’m a bad girl) money is tight but we’re dealing with it pretty well.  I kinda get antsy once in awhile about it and I know it bugs him because it’s my own fault we are tight lol.  I just need to relax, we have money for rent, bills are paid, and we have food in the house.  Everything is good!

My life is really excellent!  I have a great man who treats me better then I ever deserve.  My Mom is my best friend and I wouldn’t replace her with anyone else.  My sister and I get along better than ever.  I have a few people I can really count on that are my friends.  I have a nice job.  My house…well my house is turning out to be freaking beautiful!  I love opening all the windows, turning on music, and just looking around at how far we’ve come.  Our old apartment started with a tiny couch we found by the trash and an itty bitty tv.  I know life isn’t all about stuff but I feel like we have come so far and our stuff is just the physical proof of that.

All I gotta say is…

Hello Again

Well here I am again. I told myself I would blog more and obviously this personal blog hasn’t gotten much action lately. I’ve started another blog, Be Awesome Instead! and it’s dedicated to only positive posts. I figured that I can use it to only post things that are positive and make me smile. It would be cool if it became this great big popular blog but of course I don’t see that happening. LOL I guess that BAI is my positive blog and this one is my negative :-p Okay this one is supposed to just be my personal blog.

Hmm so whats Happening lately?

Work is okay. I’m getting really upset with myself because my supervisor has told me I am one of the best reps in the call center but due to my stupid attendance I’m not eligible for any of the great promotions that they had available. I’m not mad at anyone but myself. I know I did it to myself I just…I don’t know. It was hard to come to work and get out of bed. I was in a major funk and I don’t know why. Well I guess I do know why. The other parts of my life are a bit stressful.

My mom is losing her job. GemsTV is closing in May and I am worried for her. She already has several job opportunities so I am sure she’ll be fine but it is hard seeing her so sad because she is usually such a positive upbeat gal. Then, to top things off, a few weeks before she found out she was losing her job she had an eye doctor appointment and he said that she has no periphial vision in her right eye and it is most likely a problem in her brain due to head trauma or cancer. I’m hoping for head trauma because at least it won’t get any worse and we already know how that was caused. If it’s cancer…oh God I don’t know what I’d do. She’s my bestfriend.

Poppop, my grandpa isn’t doing well at all. His bone cancer is tearing him apart. He used to be the toughest guy I’ve ever bet, not to mention the neatest guy. Now, he can barely walk around and his house is a mess. It’s killing me to see him like this. Sometimes I wish that he would just go because I feel like he’d be out of pain and he’d be in Heaven with my grandma. Then I feel selfish for thinking that way because a tiny part of me just doesn’t want to have to see him like this.

Friends have been an interesting issue lately. Well, one friend really. She basically told me she can’t handle being around me because I am too sad all the time. Well, my grandpa is dying and my mom is going though hell. Get the eff over it. I feel like if a “friend” can’t be there for you when you’re at your worst they they obviously aren’t your friends at all. Its a hard realization to come to but sometimes you just have to toss the negative things out in order to better yourself.

Bobby and I are really good. We’ve been together almost five years now. I love him now more than ever. Sometimes I wish that we could go back to that great happy honeymoon phase but of course as time goes on things never stay like that. He’s still a great man. He treats me better than I deserve and he loves me unconditionally.

I’m still in a bit of a funk. I need to change things in my life. Obviously my weight, my attitude, my everything. I just don’t know where to begin. Sometimes I find it really hard to get out of bed in the morning. The medication I’m not just doesn’t work like it used to. I’m seeing a hypnotherapist now so hopefully that will help me. I don’t really have anything to be miserable about. Sure, I have things to worry about but the rest of my life is good. I just need to focus on that I suppose.